it's been a while.
i sort of forgot this existed.
which is unfortunate. it's my last vestige of honesty.

i saw him tonight. the original him, who will henceforth be known as ugh.
it was good, overall.
he made me cry but not about anything involving him. just people we both know that i've had issues with lately. which was probably good for me.
i felt better afterward.

the whole night sort of felt like closure.
which i didn't realize i needed until now, i guess.
or maybe i did know and didn't want to admit it.

either way, i got it.
it went the way i wanted in some ways. and the way i needed it to go overall.

we have vague plans to hang out again?
i don't think it will happen.
i'm torn as to whether or not i want it to.

it probably shouldn't.
we're not friends. i don't think we ever will be.
we were once for a long time but things got weird.
it didn't feel like there was anything between us.
just an awkward shadow of what was once there.

i'm glad we argued but still ended on nice terms.
it was very cathartic.

i feel really positive right now.
i'm glad i cried.
i'm glad nothing happened between us physically, aside from a hug.
i don't think i'll hear from him again and i'm glad about that too.

i think i'm genuinely ready to move on now.
i hope i still feel this way tomorrow.