crack my head open...

... on your kitchen floor.
to prove to you that i have brains.




done with ugh. not particularly interested in any dudes right now. maybe the youngin' but maybe not. we're supposed to hang out soon but the last time we did was like january and he's a flake.

i quit my job a while ago. i'm sort of looking for a new one. lolz. i applied for unemployment today. *crosses fingers*

i'm so torn. i've really been enjoying drinking and banging dudes and just being generally carefree. but at the same time, i don't want to be a mooch forever. i need to get a job. ugh. i should have saved up more money so i could make it through the summer jobless and happy.

overall, there've been tons of bad (borderline horrible) things happening. but i'm doing my best to see the bright side of them and it's working out okay. i'm a little bit miserable but i still like to party. so, i'm sure i'll be fine.

i'm so drunk right now.

and tempted to text him like, "wtf is your problem?  why did you tell me you want things to go somewhere then blow me off on saturday?"

but that seems more appropriate in person.  and sober.  or at least not retarded, melodramatic drunk.

ugh.

ugh is back.  though really, i might as well just stick with "him."

he started texting me again a couple weeks ago.  i didn't see that coming.  then we hung out over the weekend.  and it was really nice.  and awesome.  and like it used to be, but better.

and then it got weird.  he wants to get back together?  wtf?  i tried to explain to him why we're incompatible.  and told him that if it hasn't worked for the past three years, it won't work now.  he just insisted it would.

we moved onto other topics afterward and everything was fine after that.

but then someone did a tarot card reading for him and i which told me all sorts of scary things.  mainly that we really are going to end up getting back together.

and now i'm freaked out.

i haven't heard from him yet, which is good.  maybe i won't ever.  that might be easier.

but really, if he doesn't get a hold of me soon i'm going to end up texting him because i am a glutton for punishment.  and really, i enjoy the confusion.